bubblesport

One morning while checking the engine of the car that I was going to use for work, Tats found himself being observed by this little boy named Pius. Pius is our neighbor, who is 3 years old. Pius only spoke and understood Tagalog. Tats knew this and decided to teach Pius English the way he was taught English when he was in grade school. So he called on Pius and asked Pius to repeat after him.

Tats began "I am…"  Pius repeated "I am…"  " a boy," Tats finished.  "a boy," Pius said.

Tats went "I am…" Pius said "I am…" "a little boy," Tats continued. "a little boy," Pius repeated.

I was observing them from a distance and thought to myself, how apt that his name is Pius. What a pious little boy!

Tats wanted to teach Pius what boy meant so to distinguish what a boy is from a girl, he thought of using as an example a little girl named Alex, who is also our neighbor.

Like the good teacher he is, Tats introduced his subject. He asked Pius "Kilala mo ba si Alex?" Now speaking in his native tongue Pius quickly responded "Ah, yung mataba?!"

I laughed and snorted. I realized he wasn’t so pious after all if he spoke in Tagalog.

I learned in my life that music echoes the sentiments of my soul. This afternoon I found myself singing "Everyday I Love You" by Boyzone. And the line that struck me the most was "And you’ve never lived until you’ve loved… with all your heart and soul." This evening, I shared with one of my best friends that the one I love the most is the one who can make me the happiest, the saddest, the craziest and the angriest. It is he who can make me feel a whole range of emotions from the deepest level to its summit. In essence, it is love that makes me feel most alive.

One of the things in life I find so hard to do is to forgive myself. It is so excruciatingly difficult that even when others have long forgiven me I find myself hurting because of the wrong I’ve done. I recently hurt someone I love so much. I can’t seem to forgive myself and I know why. It is because I have caused great pain to such a beautiful and loving soul who did absolutely nothing wrong. I asked a friend how I can heal such pain. The answer was to show more love. I pondered on this until it dawned on me. The best expression of my love then is change. But how can I change when I see myself as an awful person for hurting someone who loves me so much, especially since how I see myself as who I am translates into what I do?

My answer is by faith.

I see myself as how God sees me. I no longer look at myself through my own eyes but through God’s eyes and His love reveals to me my true self… good and beautiful. A self-image that is beautiful and good will enable me to do what is good and beautiful. One of the most beautiful truths in life is that goodness comes from love. The principle is "I am good because I am loved." If you ask me how I would define love, I’d say: "Love is what makes me feel most alive, most human, and most divine."

It’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog because I have been busy. I still am very much busy with work but I cannot NOT share another wave of humorous anecdotes about my parents.

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Mother’s Day

I have lived all my life that my mom was always right.

ALWAYS. No exceptions.

I would get scolded if I lost something, forgot a fruit in the freezer, forgot my glass of water in my room or my things in the sala.  But if my mom was the one who lost something or forgot something, my mom always had an excuse on hand for everything. I mean it.

Like last Mother’s Day when she did something wrong and my Tats was annoyed about it, I heard my mom say "Oy, Tats wag mo nga ako pagalitan, Mother’s Day today!"

[SLOW clap] *clap* *clap* *clap*

GREAT excuse mom!

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Overly OC

My mom has always been very OC so she likes things neat and orderly and fixed. One time, I asked where the umbrella was because it looked like it was going to rain. And when my mom heard me asking for the umbrella she went "Wag niyo nga gamitin ang payong, baka masira."  I couldn’t help myself and reacted "NYE!" Realizing what she had just said, she laughed out loud.

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My Mom and Tats enjoy watching movies but they like watching it in DVDs in the comforts of our home in our TV room. I don’t enjoy watching films with them because they ask a lot of questions. Sometimes, they can’t understand American accent especially when the actors speak too fast. I must admit I sometimes don’t understand them too but I just take the context of what they’re saying, but my parents would always go "Anu daw?! Paki rewind nga?"  So there goes the viewing experience. But thankfully, they learned about subtitles so they’re no longer noisy watchers.

MI 3 was showing and this time they decided to watch it in a theater. It’s been a while since they watched a movie in the theaters so I warned them, "Mom, Tats wag kayo maingay sa movie house ha? Walang subtitles yun." "Ha?" my mom answered with a surprised look on her face. She must have forgotten because she’s so used to watching films with subtitles. That made me laugh. So I reassured her, "Don’t worry tomorrow you can ask me all the questions you have that you didn’t understand in the movie ok?" She was happy with that.

The following day I sat down on the sala with my parents and asked them if they had questions about MI 3. So one by one they asked me what they couldn’t understand. I listened and answered their questions. Here are some of the questions they asked me that I found funny.

Mama: What is a rabbit’s foot?

Chris: They didn’t say. Remember Ethan asked his boss what it was but the boss said he must stay with the agency to know what it was.

Mama: Di ba salbahe boss ni Ethan, yung puti. Bakit siya salbahe?

I was speechless. I laughed. How can I answer such a question? Please tell me.

So we went on discussing the movie some more. And then I told them, "Ok I have to go, so you can ask me one last question ." Just when I thought nothing could top my mom’s question earlier, my tats asked me so honestly…

"Anak, sino ba si Ethan?"

HAHAHAHA! =))

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The priest in Tats

My Tats has always been mistaken for a priest. I guess it’s because of his very patient and kind aura. It didn’t help that there was a priest in our village who looked like him. He told me before that if my mom ever died, he would join the priesthood.  (Sigh… what love!)

Anyway, one night when he came home and I opened the door for him. I noticed his hair was thinning fast. So I kidded him and said "Good evening Bishop!"

Just when I thought the joke was on him, his witty reply was "Cardinal palang anak."

Hahahaha!!!!!

I swear, I must be a magnet for embarrassing moments! Here are the instances that make me think so.

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One of the valuable things I learned in school was how to take compliments gracefully. While growing up, when friends and officemates of my parents see me they would always compliment what I wore or how I look. They would say I’m the prettiest daughter my parents have. I would nod and sincerely say "thank you!" Some people I’ve met would also do the same and I would thank them for their kind words.

Anyway, while in Bangkok with Frances, almost everywhere we went, people would compliment us and then wish us good luck. It was flattering.

While climbing the Golden Mount Temple, we met a monk who asked us where we were from and Frances answered that we were from the Philippines. I couldn’t hear all that he said afterwards but while looking at us, I heard him say "Beautiful." So by instincts, I smiled and said cheerfully, "Thank you!" Then out of nowhere Frances playfully hit me on my arm and said "NOT YOU! He was referring to the Phils!" Ooops! So much for grace :p

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When I visited my oldest friend Brother Harry in La Salle Greenhills, we chatted til it was lunch time. He invited me to eat with him in their residence hall. After a few minutes, other La Salle brothers arrived with some of their friends.

This certain La Salle brother, Rafe, asked me the usual questions like where I work and what school I went into. He learned I studied in Zobel during my Grade School and High School days. And then he went on to tell me his most memorable experience in Zobel. He said it was when he rode the chopper to the school grounds and all the kids surrounded the helicopter to greet him. My initial reaction was, "Then, you must be someone important!" Beside me I heard Brother Harry say, "Well, he was the President in Zobel when you were studying there." Brother Rafe Donato added to the comment, "I was the one who shook your hand when you graduated. You don’t remember me?" Trying to be smart in such an embarrassing moment I replied, "Well, I shook your hand when I graduated, do you remember me?" After that we had a good laugh!

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While with family friends in this restaurant called "Kamayan sa Palaisdaan" in Quezon, I was the official photographer for the occasion. Since I was the one who choreographed some of the pictures, I would make sure everyone was seen and looked great.

I noticed that even after counting "1…2…3.." and then clicking the camera, one of my titos didn’t smile. Because I wanted the picture to be perfect, I took another photo. And again, he didn’t smile. So before the third try, I caught his attention to it and casually teased him, "Tito, smile naman kayo diyan, mukhang galit kayo e." And then he touched his cheek with his palm and answered, "Hindi ako makasmile." That’s when it dawned on me. I have forgotten he had a stroke a couple of years ago!  SHOCKS! I swear, it was one of those moments that I had a picture in my mind of banging my head against the wall!

What can I say, he looked normal to me and besides, aren’t we supposed to treat everyone the same? Hahaha!

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They say I should save the best for last, so this I believe tops all the other embarrassing moments I’ve had.

I do freelance work for Mystery Shopping. My boss from Singapore was trying to reach me while I was in class. I missed his call. I told him to call me anytime because I was through teaching a class. But right after, I was requested to substitute for a class for an hour and so I missed my boss’ call again. I apologized and told him, I will answer his phone call no matter what the next time he calls.

I guess you can say my promise was tested. He called while I was in a bathroom stall. Fumbling through my things, I hurriedly answered his call. And even if I knew he could hear the echo on the line, I pretended that everything was fine and dandy. In my mind I thought, I will inconspicuously just leave the bathroom without him every finding out that I was in there. As I was about to leave, because I was already focused on our conversation, I subconsciously did my toilet manners and flushed. Just a nanosecond later, what I just did, hit me! The flush was so loud it reverberated throughout the bathroom and I was SO SURE he knew where I was, then and there.

SO EMBARRASSING I swear!

Sigh, since all these embarrasing moments are part of the past I can’t do anything about them anymore so I just look at the positive side of it.I will always have something to laugh about. Isn’t that great?

Profile magazine writers interviewed Judy Ann at her restaurant Kaffe Kabanna just last Monday. (I was tasked to write about her sport, Muay Thai).

Now, I’ve never been a fan of local showbiz but after listening to Judy Ann I’m glad to have met her. I don’t know a lot of stars but I do know a lot of real people. I enjoy being around real people because they are very down to earth. I guess that’s Juday’s secret to staying long in the business — keeping it real.

My heart BURSTS of happiness! I recently went to Bangkok and I had such an incredibly wonderful time I can’t help but sigh in joy everytime I recall it. SIGH… =)

It’s true what they say, when it rains, it POURS! I’m drenched in blessings wondering what I did to deserve them.

It was my sweet and thoughtful cousin, Kuya Rhodel, who flew me to Bangkok while he was there for a firm workshop (He works in J&J Singapore).

[<--- This is Kuya Rhodel at his cutest! This photo was taken while he was text-flirting! ]

Lucky me, I got to stay in a 5-STAR hotel, Grand Hyatt Erawan. I’m a sucker for soft cotton bedsheets that feels like silk to my skin and I absolutely loved sleeping with newly fluffed pillows every single night! Hmmm… =) I swear, this is why newlyweds stay in a suite for honeymoon. Hahaha!

One of the loveliest memories I have was when Kuya Rhodel treated me, his best friends, Newton and Doris, for dinner at this very fancy restaurant called the Vertigo. Eating on top the 62-storey Banyan Tree Hotel made me feel like on top of the world, literally! The city night lights of Bangkok was just breathtakingly awesome!  I enjoyed eating the grilled  prawns. Yuuuum!

While shopping at Chatucahk til I dropped was definitely one of the fun memories of my trip, one of the highlights was going to BUA Spa. We, women, know nothing beats an afternoon of pampering oneself by going to a spa. I went with my college friend, Frances, and  we both got a Jasmine Thai scrub. Boy, did my skin felt soooo smooth afterwards.

Besides visiting Golden Mount, Royal Grand Palace and Jim Thompson’s House, I also went to Vimanmek Mansion. It was the home of King Rama V, one of the most esteemed Kings of Thailand because abolished slavery in the country. His house was made of golden teakwood.

One of the trivias I learned and remembered is that he owned one colored tea-set for each day of the week. For example, Orange tea-set is for Thursdays, Blue is for Fridays and Red is for Sunday.

What intrigued me were their doors. Like any traditional Thai house, the Vimanmek mansion had a 5-inch wood barrier that separates each room from the others. While I was thinking of practical purposes like protection from robbers (because obviously they’d trip in the dark when they’re hurrying!) I was told it was for ghost protection. They believed that ghosts can only glide and cannot walk over things. So this prevents ghosts from entering a room.

On my last night in Bangkok, I got to spend it with a friend from highschool who also lived in my village, Peewee. She brought along her friends, Sam and Vic , who also worked at Unilever Thailand. We ate at Bakerzin restaurant at Erawan Mall, just beside Grand Hyatt.

Afterwards, Sam invited us to play poker with them at their hotel apartment (there are allegedly no casinos in Bangkok because gambling is illegal in Thailand). Being a hussler, my Kuya Rhodel jumped on that  chance. When he won a card play, he was so happy he danced while seated. Peewee and I found it entertainingly funny that even at the end of the night when he cleaned everyone’s pockets, we thought it was worth seeing him dance.

When people asked me how my trip was, almost automatically, I answered "I had a blast!" Truly, it is one of the most treasured trips I’ll be grateful for in my life to date.

I’ve been hurting.

I’ve tried to ignore it, deny it, rationalize my way out of it but it just doesn’t go away. I’m hurting not because of someone but because there is no someone.

I hurt because I’m an awfully affection person.  I’m a this point when I thirst to be touched… to be held… to be hugged.

But no matter how much I want those things, I can’t seem to tell the world I want it. I need it. I just weep inside and pray that God finds a way to hug me physically.

I reflect on the Gospel and I am in awe at how loving our God is. Jesus being all powerful can heal with a single word he utters but WHY did he have to touch the eyes of the blind man at Bethsaida, the hand of Peter’s mother in law, the ears of the deaf, the lips of the mute?

Simple. Because Jesus knew to be touched was an innate human need.

Touch destroys absence. In that very same instant that I am touched, I am made present in the world. To be touched, to be held, to be hugged and given tahan satisfy my need to feel alive. And before I can feel loved, I need to feel that I am alive to be loved.

Science provides evidence on how touch heals. [Buscaglia, Leo. Loving Each Other]

"When a person is touched, the amount of hemoglobin in the blood increases significantly. Hemoglobin is a part of the blood that carries vital supplies of oxygen to all organs of the body includeing the heart and brain. An increase in hemoglobin tones up the whole body, helps prevent disease and speeds recovery from illness. (Helen Colton)

Thus, "hugging can lift depression by enabling the body’s immune system to become tuned up. Hugging breathes fresh life into a tired body and makes you feel younger and more vibrant." - Dr. Harold Voth, Menniger Foundation Kansas.

How beautiful it is that the treasure of knowledge has been with us all this time. Moreso, how ineffably amazing that it did not take Jesus 2000 years to discover how touch was essentially life-giving.  He did not need to know science to understand that touch heals.

Jesus healed the physical illnesses of the people who came to him, but the deeper healing flowed into the brokenness of their souls when He offered LIFE to them.

My soul is broken, not by any problem but because I long to be touched. It is my prayer that Jesus in his mercy blesses me with someone who will touch, hold, and hug me back to life.

For as long as I could remember I’ve always wanted to divorce my brother. I read in the book "Living, Loving, Learning" by Leo Buscaglia that reasons for divorce were as comically petty as they can be, so I think my reason for filing a divorce would be acceptable–because my Kuya outperforms me when it comes to exhibiting middlechild syndrome.

I remember one of the most notorious things he did when we were kids. We were fighting in our room (for what reason I forget) on top of the bed. Because he was older and stronger, he was able to completely wrap me using the bedcover.  I panicked because limited space triggered my asthma. I have to say, it was then that I knew what it felt to be like a lumpia.

Recently, we argued about a shamefully petty thing –the recent loss of Ateneo to La Salle at the UAAP basketball game– over YM chat. Being the very proud Atenean that I am, my defensive side got to me and I retaliated against his smug comments about my school and about my fellow Ateneans. I attacked his credibility for such arrogant comments because as a graduate of Benilde technically he wasn’t from La Salle. Because he was losing, he shifted the argument and made it personal. From there, it snowballed. And like the bully he was before, he ended up making me cry.

I didn’t realize then that it was a prelude to one of the most beautiful moments in my life.

After our conversation, coincidentally I got a phone call from my Tats. I decided to open up to him my argument with Kuya Dens. I related my frustration with brother’s "I’m always right" attitude and superiority complex because he lives in a first world country with a good salary that can afford him whatever he wants and is independent from my parents. He belittled me for still living with my parents and not having a high-income job. Sometimes, I feel he could really be callous and close-minded. It was the chorus of his lifetime role in my life, the one who points out all the things he thinks are what’s wrong with me and and things I need to change based on his standards.

I was crying while my Tats was listening to me. When it was his turn to talk, I couldn’t believe that for the first time he was completely siding with me and disagreed with my brother. He said life is not about money. Life is about love. We do not measure success based on money but how much we love.

And then he gave me the greatest compliment of my life: "Chris, you are like me. You understand these. So do not be sad."

And then he went on and asked me "Do you know the story of the songbird?" Although, I knew the story from my heart, I let him continue storytelling because I loved the sound of his voice, a father consoling his child. 

He said "Father Anthony de Mello wrote in his book the story of the songbird. There was a man who had a dream of changing the world. After 10 years, he realized he could not change the world. So he dreamt of changing his country, after 10 years he realized he could not change his country so he said he wanted to change his family. After 10 years he could not change his family…"

On my tats went with his story while I cried harder. I was no longer crying because of my fight with my Kuya. I was crying because it was such a beautiful moment with my Tats. It was a moment I knew I will remember for the rest of my life.

And when he finished his story, he decided to tell me another lesson he learned and recently imbibed from St. Ignatius. St. Ignatius exercises letting go of what my Tats calls "scrupples." He said "when bad events happen, I acknowledging the feelings of sorrow, pain and anger. But after 15 mins I leave them behind so I can forgive and love again."

I have always wanted to be like my Tats. I see him as an extremely humble and simple man who cares very little about being rich and whose heart is as BIG as love can be. I admire him so much as a father. Our talk made me realize what I knew all along, I am destined to marry a poor but wise man who’s heart is rich with love.

I prayed to God and forgave my brother for all the hurt he has caused me all my life until then. And then the day after, the unthinkable happened. For the first time in my life, my brother called and apologized to me. Truly amazing how faith in God works! As the Ateneo hymn goes " Believe."

There are times I find myself in awe of how song writers can immortalize an experience so real that it resounds powerfully in my soul. Gavin Degraw’s "More than Anyone" just tugs my heart so nicely that I fell in love with the song. Everytime it played on TV when One Tree Hill is advertised, it never, not once, failed to make me sigh. Here’s to Love!

You need a friend
I’ll be around
Don’t let this end
Before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
To change your mind of me?
I’m going to love you more than anyone
I’m going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body’ll be free
I’ll be free for you anytime
I’m going to love you more than anyone
Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color
Look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I will try
I’m going to love you more than anyone
I’m going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body’ll be free
I’ll be free for you anytime
I’m going to love you more than anyone
Free for you, whenever you need
We’ll be free together baby
Free together baby
I’m going to love you more than anyone
I’m going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body’ll be free
I’ll be free for you anytime
I’m going to love you more than anyone
I’m going to love you more than anyone

I can’t believe it but recently I just confirmed that there are friends of mine who have become fond of my beloved tats and mom.

One of my friends actually came up to my Ats and said "You’re parents are so cool." My Ats who had no idea then that I was writing about our parents in my blog was confused how she knew my parents.

And just today one of my friends sent me a message on YM and said "does your mom have a clone? She’s so cool." And he went on about being excited to meet her and wondered if that were possible. In my mind I was like "Are you kidding me? A clone! God, no. Just one is enough to drive me to the wall. Two?  One word. Asylum. And I’m too young to be in one. Of course my reply to him was "Wow. that’s so nice to hear."  I had a feeling when I tell this to my mom since she’s so artista she’ll be flattered.

Asylum. I have another anecdote about that , another of my Tats’ teachings on life’s lessons. One time I was worrying about the future. I am an extremist firmest believer of commitment and til death do you part. I was frustrated with the hesitation of a friend who was not sure if he’ll stay married if his wife became crazy.

So after exhausting every possible way of understanding such a situation, I went to my Tats who for me was the epitome of an ideal husband. I asked him what he thought about it. He said to me two simple things. One, it is futile to get frustrated now of something that exists only in the future. It is not a reality now and only a possibility. Secondly and more practically, he told me that if I were crazy and in an asylum I shouldn’t be worried if my husband stays married to me because it wouldn’t matter anyway since i’m crazy.

Wisely said Tats.

So you see, I don’t have qualms of being in an asylum when I grow old anymore. Thanks to the wisdom of my dearest Tats.

Of course it doesn’t stop there, he said to me that if it were mom who became crazy, leaving and loving another is not an option. He chose to marry my mom in sickness and health til death do they part. It tugged my heart for him to be so decisive and committed. That inspired me a whole lot to find a man who will love me the way my tats incredibly amazingly loves my mom with his life. My mom who heard it instead of being touched was kiddingly appalled and said "Huh? Bakit ako yung naging sira ulo?"

As the favorite expression of my mom goes and I quote "My gulay."

But I have to admit, the complexity of the tandem of my mom and tats is simply amazing and never ceases to bewilder me. So anyone who wants more stories about my hilariously dysfunctional whole family say aye! And maybe, just maybe I can even send you picture of their crazy antics with signature. OHA!

This picture was taken Christmas 2003. My bro was already in the States then.